Family Restaurant Menu, Part 3: Sandwiches

New! Vegetarian Pick! Meat-Free Veggie Pile-Up
Celebrate your new vegetarian lifestyle with our edible alternative to red meat. Our giant veggie meal piles up organic slices of scrod, catfish, tilapia, salmon, shrimp, and mussels, drenched in fish broth-based oyster sauce. Served with French Fries in gravy.

New! Tuna or Chicken Salad Sandwich
We forget which. The label fell off -- you tell us.

New! BLT Salad Sandwich
Experience your favorite salad...as a sandwich!! We take a bowl of our BLT Salad, and toss it into two pieces of bread. Again, not a salad.

New! Club Sandwich
Our two-tiered treat joins the club with thick slices of turkey, ham, bacon, and Swiss cheese. Club sandwich not allowed for women.

New! BLECH Sandwich
It's Bacon, Lettuce, Egg, Cheese, and Horseradish. Ask for it by name.

New! Chicken Caesar Salad Philly Cheese Steak
Indulge in an Eastern state's favorite. Good old predictable chicken Caesar salad.

New! Cousin Reuben's Reuben Sandwich
Oy, don't be a shlemiel. Show some chutzpeh, shlimazel, and nosh on our mashugga Reuben Sandwich. It's farkakte corned beef to plotz for, a shlepping schmear of kraut and a putzful of hecka good Russian dressing. Made by the Chinese kitchen staff.
Add Bacon...$1.50

Classic! Grilled Cheese
Now you can brag to your vegan friend, that as a vegetarian, you get to eat two items on this menu, and not just the house salad.

New! Mama Meatball's Spaghetti and Meatball Grinder
Mama Meatball! Paisan, manga Mama's old country favorite: some spaghetti, some meatballs, some gravy on a Jersey roll. Made by the Mexican kitchen staff.

New! Spicy Buffalo Chicken Ranch
Try our two-story 3BR, 2 half bath pinewood ranch, surrounded by 150 acres of Wyoming land, ideal for free-range buffalo and chicken.

New! Turkey Healthy Hero
Cheat death with turkey, the miracle substitute meat.

New! Cousin Reuben and Mama Meatball's Daughter Kristen's Whatever Pita
Like I don't know why my folks want me to make food and stuff but like that's not me so like whatever you can finish my gyro.