Salad Jokes 2010: Mushroom Jokes

File Under: Salad Jokes
See also: Salad Bar Jokes 

Mushroom walks into a bar. Bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." Mushroom says, "But I'm a 'fun guy.'" Bartender says, "I just said we don't serve fungi." Mushroom says, "No, no, not 'fungi,' 'fun guy.' I made a pun." Bartender says, "Get the fuck out of my bar."

Two mushrooms walk into a bar. Bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." First mushroom says, "But I'm a 'fun guy.'" Bartender says, "Clever homophonous wordplay aside, I said we don't serve mushrooms." Second mushroom says, "But we're 'fun guys.'" Bartender says, "'Fun guys?' That's not even a homophone."

Mushroom walks into a bar. Bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." Mushroom says, "I don't need your business. I'm already sautéed."

Mushroom and his date walk into a bar. Bartender goes, "We don't serve mushrooms." Date turns to the mushroom and says, "You never take me anywhere nice."

Mushroom walks into a bar. Bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." Mushroom says, "But I'm a friend of Steve's." Bartender says, "Who's Steve?" Mushroom says, "Steve the grasshopper. From the other bar joke."

Mushroom walks into a nearly empty bar, sees only the bartender and the bartender's NA sponsor. Bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." Mushroom says, "Really?" Bartender pulls out a baseball bat from behind the bar and yells, "I said, get out. Get out! Get out! Get out!" Mushroom goes, "OK, geez," and leaves. NA sponsor turns to the bartender and says, "Don't you think you overreacted?" Bartender goes, "You know I freak out on mushrooms."

Mushroom walks into a bar. Bartender goes, "What will it be?" Mushroom says, "About time."