File Under: Salad Jokes
See Also: Scraping Bottom of the Barrel Jokes-Wise
What's the difference between a mothball and a ranch-flavored crouton?
One is disgusting to eat and the other repels moths.
A crouton walks into a bar. Bartender says, "What'll be?" Crouton says, "I'll have a flat Budweiser, week-old pretzels, and a Combustible Edison CD." Bartender says, "Why?" Crouton says, "I'm a crouton. I prefer everything stale."
Why are crouton-makers popular in the food industry?
Because they work for bread crumbs.
Why do Americans like croutons?
It makes their salads taste more like a sandwich.
You know when you have too many croutons on your salad when...
...you mix up the salad and the lettuce says: "Aaah! Sunlight!"
...instead of a plate of salad, the buffet cashier charges you for a bowl of soup.
....the table orts feel slighted.
The Motley Croutons
The country club's holding a swanky summer salad, and it looks like Crumbs and Crust - aka the Motley Croutons - are crashing it.
Crust walks up to a leafy vegetable and says, "Where you from? You from Jersey?"
"Non," replies the vegetable. "I'm France's most popular vegetable, the endive, and I was raised here in America, in none other than the White House Victory Garden in Washington, D.C."
"Really?" says Crust. "What would a French vegetable know about victory?"
The endive walks away from Crust.
Crumbs spies a stately yellow female heirloom tomato. "You say 'tomato,'" Crumbs tells her, loosening his tie. "I say, 'Woof, woof.' No offense, you're alright."
"Why, I never," says the yellow heirloom.
"Looks like your grandfather did," says Crumbs. "With a yellow Crayola. Take it easy, you're alright. OK, everyone, let's party!"
This ticks off General Radish. "MOTLEY CRU-TONS!" he bellows.
by Mike Spiegelman
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