For this bit, imagine being in a mall with a working P.A. system.

Attention Mall Security. Attention Mall Security. Code Brown in the wishing well. Code Brown in the wishing well.

Attention Mall Shoppers. There's a phony Santa loose who is not a mall employee and it's only June. Do not accept gifts.

Attention Mall Security. Attention Mall Security. Code Chester at the Pottery Barn Kids.

Code Fresh Batch at Dunkin' Donuts. Calling in Fresh Batch.

Attention Mall Shoppers. Frank Stallone will not be signing Bar Fly DVDs at Border's today at 4 due to the fact his shift at Border's starts at 3.

Attention Mall Security. Attention Mall Security. Code Brown in Santa's Village. Code Brown in Santa's Village.

Attention Mall Shoppers. The arcade has been closed for 10 years. If a pale teenager challenges you to a game of Street Fighter, decline. He is in fact, a ghost.

Security, there's a Code Beaver at Lane Bryants Fitting Room C. Code Beave.

The mall will be closing in 15 minutes. Party at Rick's house.

Code Brown, Parking Lot C. It doesn't look like any dog did it, either.