Decorate your house.
Fast for your sins.
Egg your high school gym coach's house.
Rip off the pagans.
Make a hundred million TV movies about the holiday, then air them months before the holiday occurs.
Hire Devo to perform at the office holiday party.
Hide something, make kids look for it.
Get depressed.
Write show about holiday, try out for the Fringe Festival lottery, don't get in, get bitter, ask for deposit back, get no response, stage show in toilet. Cry.
by Mike Spiegelman
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