Holiday Recipes

Party Mix
One Family-Size bag of Doritos, assorted
One SnackPak Size bag of pretzels
One Tupperware tub of homemade bagel chips
Two orts
One FunSize bag of Combos, preferably with cheese
One bottle of Worcestershire sauce
One can of anchovies

In a microwaveable bowl, pour in Doritos, pretzels, bagel chips, and Combos. Combine.
Sprinkle orts. Marinate in Worcestershire sauce. Did you know Worcestershire sauce is made with anchovies? You did, and you'll cook with that? Might as well throw in a can of anchovies while you're at it.

Microwave until smoke appears. Force on guests.
Chef tip: Due to unsavory smell, best to microwave this at work kitchen.

Weird-colored beer
One bottle of beer
One iced beer glass
One tsp of food coloring
Two handfuls of Party Mix

Pour beer in glass. Stop halfway.
Drip food coloring into beer until it turns desired color.
Drink it in front of friends.
Eat two handfuls of Party Mix to kill taste.
Drink rest of bottle to prevent vomiting.
Chef tip: Don't vomit.