Salad Jokes 2009

File Under: Salad Jokes

What do you call a rundown salad bar?
An en-dive.


Why did the chicken salad cross the road?
Because it was on a roll.


What salad wasn't invited to the salad Christmas party, and why?
Imitation crab salad; comes off as too phony.


There once was a man who'd kept guessing
Whether to eat salad with or without dressing.
He felt out of place
So he watched Will and Grace,
With that irascible Debra Messing.


What bed and breakfast serves the most popular, in-demand salad?
The Lettuce Inn.


A man is captured by savages who tie him up and bring him to their leader. Leader says, "Council will offer you two choices: death, or salad."
The man says, "'Salad?' Isn't that just an euphemism for barbaric assaults using rocks?"
The leader says, "No. 'Salad' means iceberg lettuce, red onions, tomatoes, cucumbers, bell peppers and alfalfa sprouts."
"Alfalfa sprouts?" says the man. "Give me death."
"You got it," said the leader. "But first, salad."