Temp Jokes, Perm Jokes

File under: office humor, parody, satire, that guy from American Pie, shop talk.


A full-time perm had to lay off a full-time temp, so he told him he had to speak to him in the employee parking lot. As they were walking up there, the temp said, "I don't know. This parking lot sure is scary during the afternoon." And the perm goes, "You think it's scary? I have to walk back alone."

***

How many temps does it take to screw in a light-bulb?
Two: one to do it, the other to talk about cats.

How many perms does it take to screw in a light-bulb?
Two: one to ask the temps to do it, the other to complain about the temp who always talks about cats.

***

There once was a temp into Midge Ure,
Who wanted to go temp-to-perm.
But deep inside he didn't care,
Then got caught stealing hardware.
Which landed him temp to the curb.

***

Two perms and a temp return from an emergency company-wide meeting that announced the holiday week will be unpaid and perms had to use vacation days or not get paid.

"It's so unfair," Roger, the first perm, said. "They promised they would give us the days in between Christmas and New Year's Eve off as paid days separate from our holiday days, and two weeks prior, they change their mind?"

"Yeah," said Marcy, the other perm. "And they expect us to show up to tomorrow night's holiday party happy? Good luck."

"Well," said the temp, who looked like that guy from American Pie, "I always planned to take the week off as an unpaid week, and will still go the party with a smile on my face."

"You're not going," said Marcy. "Perms only."